My Life in Scales: Part 1, In The Beginning...

This is the beginning of a series of entries about me and my struggles with weight. I am tackling this not only as a way of telling my own personal story, but as a way to digest and externalize the issues I have dealt with for most of my life. I find that it's cathartic to put into solid words feelings that I have been internalizing for a very long time and on such a public forum (for all, like, six you that read this). With out further adieu:


When I was 14, I was in the 7th grade. My mother took me to a doctor's appointment, for a routine physical and check up. I can't remember what month it was, or really any particular details from that visit. But what I do remember, most acutely was when Dr. Files was making his finishing remarks. Everything looked good, I was healthy, except for one thing. My weight. He was very matter-of-fact when he made the suggestion that my mother and I sign up for weight watchers. I was absolutely horrified. THAT kind of thing was for overweight adults. Not ME. I was a teenager. I was mortified, since I never really thought of myself as fat. I mean, yeah, I was pudgy but not Weight Watchers pudgy! When we got into the car, my mom tried to smooth things over by mentioning he was always telling her to lose weight as well. And she then gave me the little talk of you are beautiful at any weight, and it was only a number on the scale.

In actuality, I was not so much bothered by what the doctor had recommended, but it was the stark realization of the truth hitting me very squarely in the chest. He was right. I was overweight. I don't remember exactly how heavy I was, but I knew I was definitely bigger than I should have been. Puberty was a good excuse for my weight gain, but it stopped being convenient when I wasn't growing any taller or slimming out from that baby fat. Compounding my excess weight was the fact that the boob fairy hit me hard and fast, and suddenly I had curves and boobs to match those rolls at 14. My body, a source of shame and loathing, had now started to generate comments - hurtful ones at that - to me about my body. I remember once the boys across the street saying, "You would be fat if your boobs weren't so big". There was also a little gem related to me by my 7th grade boyfriend's best friend, "He only liked you for your boobs at first, but now he thinks you're really cool". Uh, thanks, I think?

Buying clothes as a teenager was always a disappointment, and again filled with embarrassment. I could never seem to fit into Junior sizes (this being well before Junior's Plus was even a vague concept), and had to mosey over to the Missy's (I absolutely hate that term) section, which not surprisingly lacked age appropriate clothing. My friends wanted to shop at Delia's in high school, and I had already been sized out of their line by the time I was in 7th grade. I would end up swathing myself in anime tee shirts (Gundam Wing Deathscythe tee, R.I.P) two sizes too big and jeans from Old Navy, and men's khaki pants. This cutting edge style statement was to be my mainstay through high school and a bit into college.

When I started college I was more self aware of my status as a Plus Sized gal, but always (thankfully) on the smaller side of things. I could still flit in and out of the higher range of "straight" sizes and be comfortable. My life style then was fairly active, working on my feet in retail jobs and walking around a large urban university (Temple U, represent) as a commuter student. My diet however was in shambles, which is not to say I ever had a good diet to begin with. Remember when I mentioned about three paragraphs ago that my mom also had weight issues? It really isn't coincidental that through how I was raised I ended up with weight issues too. My relationship with food was never as bad as my mom's, but I still liked to eat and I loved to eat things that were sweet and comforting. From an early age I remember always drinking soda, having snacks around the house and candy. I was never denied anything food-wise. My grandmother was constantly trying to restrict my mother's food and put her on a diet as she was growing up. My mother decided she was not going to raise her daughter the same way.

I know my mother meant well, and I am certainly not going to blame her completely for my food issues as an adult, but there is some culpability to be found. I also want to make it very clear my mother was always cooking meals for us. She loved to cook, and I loved her food. She did make good healthy things too, and also some delicious calorie-bombs of goodness (I am looking at you creamy Chicken Cordon Bleu). But she was also a single mother, working hard and sometimes a dinner from Wendy's was much easier than making a full dinner at night. From this environment however, I learned to clear your plate and that it was okay to eat whatever you wanted. Fruits and veggies were never eaten as a snack and portion control was pretty much a foreign concept. With this as my background I went into young adulthood with little to no knowledge of what a balanced, healthy diet looks like.


In college I typically ate to live, trying to find the cheapest tastiest things possible. In the morning I would snag two pretzels (Philly, yo!) and a cup of tea (sugar and cream, of course) from the little stand outside the library (Paley Library, R.I.P). In the afternoons I would pick up a sandwich from the Bagel Hut, or maybe some mini egg rolls from the Thai place. Before I hopped on the train home, I would hit up the news stand for one of those enormous chocolate muffins to munch on train. I would go to work, and then come home with a bag of Burger King. Going to school in a food town like Philadelphia, I was kept in ample supply of vaguely disguised junk food as meals. While it was not okay, with my activity level and age, I was keeping myself just on the threshold of obesity. Regardless of my activity, my food intake was still keeping me big, much bigger than I really should have been. When I finally graduated college, I was launched into the "adult world" and with it the freedoms and limitations of being an adult on my own entailed. Little did I know, this would also come with quite a different lifestyle change as well.

I won't say I grew up fat, but I definitely grew up bigger, chunkier. While it was not hard, it was not easy especially in those hard years of middle school and high school. I liked to dance to the beat of my own drum, but it was completely frustrating that my body didn't want to be slim - that I could not eat like my friends did and be thin. This frustration would stay with me for quite some time - all through college and into my post college years. After graduating is where my struggles became almost epic in proportion and scale (see what I did there?). I never became more aware of my body then I did in my mid to late 20's.

So ends the first part of my story, to be continued at a later date.   

Lets just dip a toe back in, shall we?

Summer. It always seems to be the time of year I get the Blog bug back. Despite that, I always have a ton of ideas, just never any traction on actually having the time to complete my posts. Hence my strange and sporadic posts. I usually get a tad overwhelmed with my grand ideas and then immediately get exhausted just thinking about the - ugh - effort I tend to simply forget about doing anything. So, I shall start off small and easy this time around.

It's been one of those wonderfully lazy Sundays, and while I was finishing up a crochet project I turned Pandora to the 80's New Wave station.  Ed was outside, doing something with tiny power tools and a metric fuck ton of video game cases. New Wave has always been one of my little secret passions, ever since I was 12 years old and obsessively watching VH1. The music was so good, so revolutionary and extremely catchy. I suppose that's why so many bands decided to cover New Wave songs. So, without further ado...

My Top Five New Wave Covers

1. New Order, Blue Monday covered by Orgy

2. Nena, 99 Luft Ballons covered by Goldfinger

3. Depeche Mode, Personal Jesus covered by Marilyn Manson

4. A-Ha, Take On Me covered by Reel Big Fish 

5. Joy Division, Shadow Play covered by The Killers

So, the irony here is that four of these five were done by bands in the 90's. Also, in thinking about which covers I like the best I noticed that ska bands seemed to cover New Wave pretty often. This by no means is an expert list, just my own opinion. 

Bonus Round: 

Dexys Midnight Runners, Come On Eileen covered by Save Ferris

(God, I loved Monique Powell.)

The Smiths, Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want covered by She and Him

Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon Crystal

Oh. Man.

My initial reaction, almost two years ago upon hearing there's going to be a Sailor Moon reboot was literally, "I'll believe it when I see it." Yesterday was the premiere of the first Act through various online sources (I watched via Hulu) and I guess I can believe it now and my skepticism is was grossly misplaced. I hang my head in shame.

Can we talk about some serious nostalgia? I was suddenly transported back to when I was kid, sitting in front of the TV at butt-crack o'clock watching the 1992 release in all it's dubbed glory on the USA Network. It was only shown in the morning in those days, and sporadically at best. Some days I'd tune in and it wouldn't be on, or have moved to a different block. Merchandising was also spotty as well, some stores carrying just the ridiculous looking dolls in both sizes, other carrying a full line including characters that hadn't even been introduced yet. The show was also ripped to shreds because of censoring and we ALL KNOW how awful the voice acting was (I'm looking at YOU Naru).

For many people, Sailor Moon was a gateway drug into Anime and I'm no exception. About a year after my initial introduction into Sailor Moon, we got our first family computer (Compaq, represent!) with internets (okay, it was AOL. Shaaaaaameeee), which made it exceptionally easy to discover that there was a vast

Revolutionary Girl Sailor Moon?

array of different anime shows and other fans to connect with. By being able to keep up with different fans, I was also able to keep up with the news of Sailor Moon returning to TV about a year after that, on Cartoon Network's Toonami programming. At that point, I started buying Sailor Moon Super fan subs from some fairly dubious sources I met in AOL chatrooms. I also kind of became a raging bitch with a serious
superiority complex because I was no longer a "dubbie", since building a library of subtitled anime.

Of course, that was 15 years ago and times and technology have vastly changed how entertainment is delivered into our hands. Today, we can just pop on to any number of websites and just tune into whatever show or movie want to watch. Which makes, for me, this new iteration of Sailor Moon somewhat bittersweet, but so very exciting at the same time.

Hey, no more 80's hair OR sunglasses

So, yesterday, Ed set me up streaming the first Act on Hulu on the living room TV. I knew a few things going into this: new theme song, a closer adaptation to the manga, a slightly different art style and Usagi's transformation sequence. That was pretty much it. I was not surprised to see the episode follow the same lines as 92's first episode, since considering they both follow the manga. There was some in-yo-face foreshadowing about the Moon Princess, which was irritating, since the manga kept the subject a better
mystery. The end tease was also pretty great, showing Ami from behind - like how they opened the episode with just showing Usagi the same way. Which also means - a shorter series. Scheduled to clock in at 26 episodes, this is a vast improvement over 92's 46 episodes. Also, less Monster Of The Day nonsense. Again, keeping more in line with the manga, which flew at a swift pace.

The meet-cute

Also keeping in the manga tradition is the style. This could be a make or break piece for some people, since yes, the flat stares can be disconcerting at best. The 92 version gave the characters a ton of expression and let it show on their faces. Crystal did have it's moments, I am happy to say, but not as much as the original anime. Which is okay, at least for me. The manga has such an ethereal, other worldly beauty and an elegance that was not translated on screen in the original. Crystal has done an excellent job of bringing that to the table, with the character's long limbs, flowing hair and sparkling eyes. Other small things that stood out to me
were the Shoujo Kakumei Utena like commercial break plates, and the flowery boarders that appeared around major characters. I also really love the level of detail the animation has, from tiny little creases in clothing, to actually seeing what Princess Serenity's little sleeves look like from the side. The CGI animation on Usagi's transformation was okay - she moved beautifully, and it was pretty to watch, but it just didn't feel right.

A few other points:

• Fuku is spot on to the manga
• Opening song is really good, and super catchy. Ending song is a bit of a snooze.
• Usagi's hair was bat-shit out of control a few times.
• Moon Tiara Boomerang!
• Tuxedo Mask, useless as ever, wearing a Tuxedo. 
• Kotono Mitsuishi, the only original cast member to reprise her role

WTF, bat-shit cray hair.

All in all, I really like the show. I'm curious if there is going to be a modern veneer applied to the show - is Usagi going to get an iPhone? From the opening sequence, I wasn't sure. The girls are sorta dressed like they're from the 90's, but they could also just be dressed like hipsters. I can't seem to make that call. I did see a girl on the street with what looked like a smart phone, but the arcade cabinets look like they're vintage? Either way, it looks like it's going to shape up to be pretty awesome! I've always loved and an in some cases, preferred the manga story line at some points. It's going to be a long time in coming, if at all, but I'm stoked at the prospect of seeing Sailor Cosmos, finally!

Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon Crystal is pure nostalgia, but it's not all just nostalgia. It's bringing a new shininess to what really was a dated show, doing it with grace and class. It's also introducing Sailor Moon to a new audience of little girls of a new generation, a different generation than mine. My gripes are minor, and my praises are major. I'm really excited to see what the rest of the series brings!

In The Name Of The Moon!

-GG

The Reconciliation, Part Two

It's been a while, but I've finally fleshed out my concluding thoughts when it comes to Marvel.

Again, thar be spoilers ahead. Ye Be Warned.

So, we picked up Thor 2 because I had an overwhelming urge to submerse myself back into the Marvel Universe.

Thor 2 was...good! I won't say it was the most amazing Marvel film, however, it held up very nicely in it's own right. The movie had an easier time of being integrated with the rest of Marvel Universe, as it had The Avengers preceding it. The stand out, was of course, Tom Hiddleston and the depth of character and pathos he brought to Loki this time around. Hiddleston truly owns that character. The story line was great, the action was great, and of course...well, the ending was awesome. I still have issues with Natalie Portman's existence in the Thor films, as a charter member of Team Lady Syf. Not to say I am a mindless fangirl - I do see the necessity of the changes made all the way back in the first Thor. All together, a well written tasty piece of the Marvel Universe.

Now. The movie ends, and the credits roll, and we hold our usual inclination to hit the remote. Oh, no. We wait for really, what is often at times the best parts of Marvel movies - the "teasers" at the end. These have a great history of being awesome, from simply tying up loose ends to giving tantalizing hints at what's to come. Iron Man 3 being the exception, they have all been amazing. The best, in my opinion was the one at the end of The Avengers. On the opening night,  Ed and I were leaning forward, falling out of our seats, and when we realized exactly who that was we collectively shit our pants. I grabbed on to Ed's knee and squeezed the life out of him, I was so excited, desperately containing squeals of delight. Some girl to the right and front of us asked in general, "who's that?". As if on cue, a guy in the higher up seats jumps up, both fists pumped in the air and bellowed "THANOOOOOS". It was magic.

The teaser at the end of Thor 2, while not as a magical experience, it still jazzed us up. After a fast paced conversation that included phrases such as "OH MY GOD, THIS MEANS THE GAUNTLET" and "Will Adam Warlock show up?" we simmered down. I picked up my current cross stitch as Ed played around with the Blu-Ray special features. I was feeling pretty good, if a little chagrined, considering that I had completely forgotten about August's upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy. Derp, de derp. Ed was engrossed in watching some behind the scenes things, which I would cast covert glances at when Hiddleston was on screen.

"Hey, there's one of those one shots on here. It's called "All Hail The King". Oh! It's got Ben Kingsley as the Mandarin again." Ed says, hitting play on the short.

Ugh. Really? Now they're making shorts featuring that disaster? In spite of myself, I watched it.

It was a proverbial "I'm sorry letter". It was better than the bouquet that contained The Collector, better than the sweets box featuring two very special twins at the end of Winter Solider. For me, this was the breaking of the ice, the first apology. It wasn't complete, since to repair the damage done by Iron Man 3 would take much more than just this one particular short. But it was good, and very entertaining.

I took away an understanding that the powers that be realized that not everyone would accept or like their version of the Mandarin. Like it or not, it was the comic fans that made Iron Man so successful to begin with. This was their overture to us. It certainly doesn't make up for the other shitty things about Iron Man 3, but does start to scab the wound caused by the Mandarin. It was well acted, and actually very funny. The short also brings to bear more questions as well - what does this mean now? Are the Ten Rings going to make an appearance?  Will there be more Iron Man movies? Questions I don't know how to answer, but I like being able to ask them.

So, Marvel and I are taking it easy. Some tentative hand holding, and maybe a peck on the cheek every now and again. I'm seriously looking forward to Guardians of the Galaxy - maybe we'll get to 1st base - as the theatrical trailers look very promising. Ed and I also had another pants shitting moment when we saw X-Men: Days of Future Past, at the very end. In addition to being a superb comic movie, the secret ending on THAT one was just too good, leaving me eagerly anticipating the next X-Men installment. And, of course, we  have The Avengers: Age of Ultron. Something tells me with Joss Whedon at the helm once more, Marvel and I will go on to have a happy, healthy relationship again. No relationship is without it's bumps, but with all this great content coming up, I'm not ready to throw in the towel completely.


For more info on what's going on in the Thor 2 secret ending, this video is a great resource.
The Avengers: Age of Ultron trailer
Guardians of the Galaxy
Info on "All Hail The King"
Speculation on Captain America 2's secret ending
Marvel One Shots


Stay Frosty,

-GG

The Reconciliation, Part One.

It's not often I get to really geek out (It's also not often I actually get to blog....), but when I do I try to make it good.

WARNING. This post contains spoilers for a buncha things, but mainly Iron Man 3. If you haven't seen it yet, for the love of God, get thee to a computer and Netflix that shit.

The Reconciliation, Part One: The Break-Up.


Almost exactly a year ago, Iron Man 3 came out. This was my penultimate movie, with expectations running amok as I was coming off my high from The Avengers, this was to be the grand finale in the Iron Man saga. We had a phenomenal cast lined up - the obvious, principal players - Robert Downey Jr, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Don Cheadle, but we also had Guy Pierce and the amazing Ben Kingsley rounding out this final installment. The trailers and posters looked amazing, leaked pictures and the media frenzy was promising. I did myself a service and took the advice from River Song and stayed away from spoilers. I wanted this to be special.  I had taken the journey, all the way from the beginning - the opening night midnight showing all those years ago to now, wearing the very same "Mrs. Tony Stark" shirt I had made up for the first occasion. I was a different person, and a different fan, but my love for shellhead was stronger than ever.

The depths of my disappointment was vast. I sat there with Ed, as the credits rolled and tried so hard to smile and say it was perfect. But I couldn't. Because it wasn't. I was let down badly because I felt the movie trashed everything that was exceptional about the comics. The Extermis story line was terribly mishandled, and the epitome of Iron Man villainy - the Mandarin - was turned into a bumbling, lecherous failed actor. A shameful misuse of the amazing talent of Ben Kingsley as well. Iron Man 3 was a nice action movie, over the top, complete with cute kid sidekick and pretty girlfriend, but it was missing heart and soul - that Marvel polish and panache - that defines not only the Iron Man movies but most Marvel movies.  It was a betrayal on a Shakespearean scale. My trust was so broken, I shied away from comics and Marvel all together, weary and leery of anything bearing that red and white logo.

I broke up with Marvel.

It wasn't a fitful break, there was no screaming, crying, gnashing of teeth. No 2 AM texts, drunkenly tapped out in a fit of despair and alcoholism. No shame spiral after realizing what it was you actually texted to the ex. It was quiet, done with a shake of the head, and a firm walking out. It still hurt, but there just wasn't any passion or desire to still be in this quasi-love affair. I was failed, terribly so, and I felt it was best to step away.

In the intervening year I have been able to extrapolate some decency from the movie, find the good things, the silver lining. The ending, and not being snarky here, was well done as it exemplified something that has happened to Tony many, many times in the comics. Losing everything, and building from the ground up. Good. Many suits of armor. Also good (but bad too, since the collection was implemented fairly lamely). Lots of tech, also good but bad too, as we've seen Iron Man up against tech and prevail. Why can't we see our technological wonder up against something he's never seen before, something he hasn't prepared for and will have to use every shred of cognitive skill that brilliant brain of his holds to overcome? Like, say, magic or the supernatural or...something not of this world. Oh, right, because that would have been the realm of The Mandarin (or Doctor Doom, a girl can dream...), and we wouldn't want to follow those silly comic books because that just wouldn't be clever enough.

That, there is the crux of my issues with Iron Man 3. The loss of The Mandarin was a heavy blow as I was really super psyched as I followed the tantalizing hints and clues laid out in the first two movies. I could happily accept The Mandarin as the head of a terrorist organization - it was perfect, really. But was left bitter, disappointed and distrustful of Marvel.

Fast forward to this past weekend.

About a month ago, I made Ed take me to see Wes Anderson's The Grand Budapest Hotel. I got guilty about it and decided to take Ed out to see Captain America: The Winter Solider, as he'd been dying to see it for over a month now. I had felt guilty because I was willfully ignoring the existence of a new Marvel movie, as I had done with Thor 2. Ignoring Cap was harder though, as he is Ed's main squeeze. It was a great movie, in all honesty, still working hard to tie in those threads from other Marvel movies but maintaining an identity. Also introducing The Falcon, yes! It was nice, it felt good. But my instincts were screaming to not fall into a trap, I would get hurt again.

So, instead of being cautious, I decided that instead of waiting for Netflix, we were going to pick up Thor 2 right after the movie, because I was just in that mood.

Suddenly, and in spite of everything, the game was suddenly changed because of that one Blu-Ray disc.

Continued in Part 2....

Edit:
I'm not going to expostulate further on why I thought Iron Man 3 was terrible. However, here are some articles that articulate my thoughts fairly well:
10 Reasons To Hare Iron Man 3
4 Reasons Why Iron Man 3 Was A Horrible Start to Marvel's Phase 2  (a "normal" movie-goer perspective)
Iron Man 3 Just Isn't Just Bad, It's Downright Insulting

Fat Promotion and My Excuses.

There seems to be a little bit of a war happening. Of course, this is the internet, when is someone not arguing with another person? When that stops, I think we've found the end of the internet. However, this one hits me harder than most stupid "controversies".

I have since April, been on a "Bradessy". The ever continuing struggle to find my perfect fitting bra. I'm still working on it, and it's a struggle, let me tell you. Thanks to the great community support (hyuk, hyuk) from /r/abrathatfits I'm well on my way.

So, I have spent a serious time online looking at pictures of boobs, bras and breasts. More than your typical hormone pumped teen. It's a little embarrassing. I'm over it.

As I am shopping for bras I tend to see a lot of lingerie, which is awesome, because um...wow? Sexy smalls for the bedroom? I'm on board. Pretty frilly, frothy things to wear? Yay! No more beige, black and white bras! Matching sets? oh. em. gee. I've been delivered from Cacique and into the paradise of Freya, Panache and Elomi.

When I found this article from Bust Magazine, I was immediately intrigued. Thrilled, even. I tend to get bothered when I shop for clothes online, and the models tend to not be actually plus-sized. If I am going to buy a dress it would be nice to see it on a model who's body is closer to mine. Putting a size 10 in a baggy sweater is not fitting the bill. This article discusses how Chrystal Bougon owner of Curvy Girl Lingerie  addresses this very concern. I also love that the article stresses that all women are "real", not just plus-size and curvy women. She puts out a call for women "with rolls, bumps, lumps, scars, stretch marks, surgery scars and natural breasts that have nursed babies". No where does it specifically say she wants bigger ladies. It just so happens that bigger ladies have answered the call and the Bust article choose to have some lovely, cheerful women who are larger ladies. Brave, and inspiring and seriously refreshing!

Then this article comes out on the Daily Fail, about a woman who made some comments in response on Facebook. While the article speaks mainly about how Facebook banned her, because of her comments and then reinstated her access, the main impact of the article is the individual's attitude and response to the Bust Article. Maria Kang was accused of "fat shaming" because of her opinion that campaigns such as Chyrstal's are promoting obesity and taking pride in being overweight. Kang made some pretty controversial statements, including a photo of her posing with her three sons, all under the age of 5  under the heading "What's Your Excuse?". 

With that line of thinking, I need to have to explain away my weight and size, because there HAS to be a reason, right? Because no one chooses to be fat, right? It's a completely abnormal abomination! I mean, since I was a little girl and well into my teens I was taught correctly by the media that to be normal and to fit in to society I should be thin. Or at least try to be thin! My God, what kind of person am I for not following the correct societal procedures that have been set before me?

My excuse? I have no excuses because I don't need any. I don't need to excuse myself to you, or anyone else about my size, shape or weight. I don't promote anything on my Blog except a fun and quirky sense of fashion and taking JOY in life, no matter what someone looks like. Can we stop assuming that every larger person is lazy and just sits around and eats? Is it completely necessary to attempt to promote a fitness-centric lifestyle by shaming people into it? What good does that do, exactly?

It creates hurt feelings, anger and resentment. If this woman is so dedicated to getting people into the gym why does it have to be in such a manner? If she truly cared about me and my health, she would get off her narcissistic high horse and create a true dialogue about health and fitness. This woman only accomplishes self serving goals while under the guise of promoting fitness. And that is not right. 

I am inundated every day with images and pictures of the ideal created by the industrial beauty machine. No one looks like me. Or any of the women in my family. Or the women I work with. Or my friends. Or my neighbor. Or anyone. We've gotten so wrapped up in a fantasy ideal of what is supposed to be and not be we've lost sight of each other. It's gotten too easy to sit there and call out someone for being fat. I could just as easily start shaming Maria Kang for being a bad mother. I can make all kinds of assumptions about her lifestyle, and assume she doesn't care for her children, because she obviously cares more about exercise. I mean, she's using her children for shameless self-promotion! What other conclusion could I make? Or I could also attack her body. Look, she's got no tits. She's almost flat chested, has no curves - she's ugly because she looks like a boy in a wig! Only dogs want bones, not real men. 

 But you know what? That's childish, cruel and lacks any kind of constructive criticism. I don't know anything about her and her life, so how can I sit back and judge someone? We live in a culture where it is suddenly become okay to humiliate people into doing what "we" think is proper. Where when we are confronted with seeing a thicker waist, or a bit of back fat or...heaven forbid - belly rolls we're offended. We can attack people who are different because they don't fit. Literally. This needs to stop. 

My anecdotal truth is that I have struggled my whole life with my size, which has been the same since high school. It has taken me years to accept my body and be happy with myself and love myself. I will not let this self serving bitch, wrapped up in her security blanket of negativity bring down years of working towards the ultimate goal of loving myself. *I* am the only person who is allowed to judge myself. Trust me, I'm competent enough to decide weather I need to go to the gym, or not have that last cookie. I don't need anyone else to tell me what *I* need to do. If I suddenly decide I need to get a gym membership, it's a decision that I will make, thanks, and it's a decision I won't be shamed into. 


-GG

Finally Fall

I have been so super psyched that it's finally fall, and the weather has been really quite nice, here in south east PA! It's been a great October so far, with a few events and my vacation to boot!

Earlier this month my friend I went to a fun little street fair in a beautiful 300 year old village rich with history and culture. I ended up making a few purchases: homemade dip mixes and horseradish mustard  (made by a really super cool local guy who also does insane hot sauces), a pair of gorgeous turquoise earrings and a quirky pair of windmill earrings.

I also decided to get a hair cut:

I'm a much happier person with bangs, to be honest. I think it gives my face something....else...Anyway, I also decided to get the rest of my hair cut all the same length around too, because layers were getting raggedy on me and I was tired of it. I feel I have a more modern look.











Last Friday was a faaaaabulous gallery opening at The Grounds for Sculpture! It was a fantastic evening! I fell completely in love with the new installations by Edwina Sandys, William Knight and Katie Murken. I also got to meet J. Seward Johnson, an artist and founder of the grounds, so it was pretty magical. He told us a silly story about meeting a German couple on the Queen Mary II. I think he was a little tipsy.

Katie Murken

Katie Murken 

Edwina Sandys

And of course:

Dress: Bettie Paige Clothing via ModCloth
Sweater: Target
Stockings: Torrid
Purse: Target, two years ago

The outfit of the evening! It was also a cocktail hour, so I felt this dress was appropriate. The color and the print make it so vibrant and eye catching. I got tons of compliments and my friend Becky said people were turning their heads with appreciative glances. A success! My hair looks a little effed up because I didn't have time to refresh it before leaving.

The accessories:
Shoes: Seychelles Footwear
Necklace: Forever21
Lipstick: Flower
Quotation Earrings: ModCloth










There you have it! The month is almost done, but I'm not!


-GG